24 December 2010
Christmas Eve.
01 December 2010
Home.
02 November 2010
Language.
Stephen Fry Kinetic Typography - Language from Matthew Rogers on Vimeo.
23 October 2010
Fall!
20 July 2010
I write like.
15 July 2010
Birth.
Yesterday, I was reminded of the preciousness of life.
At a little after two o’clock in the afternoon, I received the news that Zach had taken Kelsey to the hospital. She hadn’t felt any movement from the baby and they were concerned. Doctors were able to find a heartbeat, but the next thing I learned was that Kels was being prepped for an emergency C-section.
My mom informed me that both Zach and Kelsey were, understandably, panicking, as they were unsure of what was wrong but just knew that the baby was going to be delivered almost exactly four weeks before her due date. Though trying to hold everything together and pass the news around to family and friends, I could tell that my mom wanted to break down. She kept saying, “I just feel so far away right now. I can’t do anything to help.” However, we reminded each other of the need for prayer, which was the most effective thing we could do.
After getting off the phone with my mom, I called my roommate. As I sat on the back porch of my house, wanting to cry, she encouraged me to trust God with the entire situation. Her words reminded me that I needed to have faith, that stressing didn’t help but was a sign that I didn’t think God was competent. He had created my niece and knows her more intimately than anyone, even before birth. And he desires the best for her.
A couple hours after the initial news, I headed in to work and was only able to get updates through text messages. The vagueness of the information contained in the brief sentence fragments of a text did nothing to calm me, but I continued to pray and to take comfort in the fact that family and friends all over the country were doing the same.
Words cannot describe the joy that flooded me, as I looked at my vibrating phone and read, “Congratulations Aunt Alix! Charis Lynlee Bohler was born at 5 lbs 6 oz and seems to be doing well!”
The rest of the evening was a frenzy of texts, emails, and phone calls as everyone rejoiced over the birth of this beautiful, frail baby girl.
Last night, as I talked with my older brother and he told me about sitting the nursery with his daughter as she gripped his finger with her tiny hand, I thought about how every good and perfect gift is given to us by a loving and gracious Heavenly Father.
Though premature and being monitored carefully, Charis seems to be doing well. There seem to be a few health issues caused by her early birth, but doctors have reiterated to her parents how important it was that immediate action was taken, since the situation could have been much worse.
We are so grateful that both Kelsey and Charis are doing well. Praise God, our loving and life-giving Father, for this perfect blessing!
27 May 2010
Grace and blessing.
30 April 2010
April and TS Eliot.
24 April 2010
Change.
The end of each school year is hectic, a constant frenzy as we cram more papers, projects, tests, coffee dates with friends, and summer job applications into every day than seems humanly possible. Everything is changing, everything is in motion. And a bittersweet feeling envelops these moments of hurried activity. It’s a mixture of a desire for relaxation and a need for a change of pace and a horrible aching feeling that I think most people experience when they realize that life is about to change. This school year has been wonderful and, so, when it finishes, it will be the end of something wonderful.
During the hours and hours that I’ve spent lately in the complete silence of the library or in the dull humming of the student union, I’ve contemplated more than just the literary works that should have been my focus. I’ve frequently thought about the last year of my life. On this same weekend last year, I went to a Leinster rugby match. And to my Irish church, where I heard stories about how God had been working in the lives of people I care about deeply. I went to a coffee shop for lunch with some of my closest friends on earth and sat near a window, looking down upon the main street of one of my favorite places on earth. I went to a pub, where the very walls and furniture were saturated with the comforting scent of Guinness and Bulmers. And I’m pretty sure that, exactly a year ago, I was reflecting on my love for the people with whom I lived and my reluctance to move forward, just as I am now.
But recently I had a thought: my life is constantly improving. Honestly, it is. Somehow, I always dread impending change when the changes that have come in my life thus far have always brought more happiness. This isn’t to say that I haven’t been presented with challenges, but simply that I don’t ever regret having taken the next step. When high school ended, I wasn’t a senior who bolted from my parent’s house without looking back, but college has blessed me and molded me in ways that I couldn’t have fathomed several years ago. And each year of college, even each semester, has been the same way—distinctly different, yet incredibly fulfilling. So right now, I’m going to relish my last few weeks of dorm life and living with those in the class above me. But I’m also going to look forward to all that is to come. Because my life truly is remarkable.
04 April 2010
Spring break and a reunion.
20 March 2010
Written as a break from literary criticism.
Ice, painfully cold, stings my tongue. Remnants of pink passion and the tang of lemons linger. A burst of summertime like the sharp crackle of fireworks.
A raspy voice, metallic guitar, ending with the anticlimax of a shaking tambourine. Buzz of a blender, staccato instructions—“mocha—sweetened iced —caramel—.“ The silence of opened books; gentle click-click-click of the keys. Soundtrack to an afternoon.
Nine pairs of headphones. A moment of eye contact. Three more moments followed by half of a smile. Later, we’ll walk past one another and pretend we’ve never met.
17 March 2010
Happy Saint Patrick's Day!
16 March 2010
13 March 2010
Challenge and blessing.
06 March 2010
Spring.
Spring has arrived, at least for now.
Campus is steeped in sunlight. I’m wearing too many layers to be comfortably cool. Listening to perfect spring music. Reading Northanger Abbey.
A beautiful day.
13 February 2010
Reflections.
In this poem, Arnold writes of the suffering and sadness of the world, brought to mind by the sound of the ocean waves on the rocky beach. As he listens, he thinks of “the turbid ebb and flow of human misery.” My favorite lines of the poem occur in the last stanza:
Ah, love, let us be true
To one another! for the world, which seems
To lie before us like a land of dreams,
So various, so beautiful, so new,
Hath really neither joy, nor love, nor light,
Nor certitude, nor peace, nor help for pain.
Last spring was a challenging time in my life. Although I may not have experienced suffering, I was out of the country for the death of someone I loved and many close friends were in the midst of horribly painful situations. Each time I called home, only to receive more difficult news, I would go out and walk along the sea, listening to the sound of the waves and thinking, like Arnold, that life on this earth is fraught with confusion and struggles.
I think the reason that I love the beginning line of the last stanza, “Ah, love, let us be true to one another,” is that it invokes thoughts of all my prayers to God as I would walk along the shore. Arnold wrote this poem on his honeymoon and, therefore, addressed this portion to his new bride. It is a plea to stay united, not only in the beautiful times of life when dreams are coming true, but also in the uncertain and tragic times. I remember standing by the sea at night, overlooking the dark calmness in front of me, only able to see the water because of lights glimmering on a far-off shore, listening to waves scraping against the pebbled beach, and calling out to God. I remember asking him why the difficult times existed. And I remember asking him to stay with me and for his presence to be felt in the lives of those back home that were experiencing much greater challenges.
Matthew Arnold’s poem creates a beautiful picture, but, for me, this picture is associated with an even more beautiful time in my life. Even though the poem does not speak of God or of how to deal with earthly troubles, the vivid imagery sparks memories of a setting that caused me to think through life’s issues. What I love about Arnold’s poem is not only his detailed descriptions, but also the conclusions I was able to draw from his words.